Grr... Damn Uterus

Saturday night ( or Sunday morning) at 3:00 AM, I got up to use the bathroom. My bladder coaxed with way too many lemonades at the half moon in Clear Lake nudged me from my bliss. I tip toed around the bed holding Mike in his slumber and hit my toe on the pull out sofa. FUCK!
Upon reaching my destination to the second door down the hall, I was greeted by my period. Ergh... I returned to bed and just rolled over Mike to my side of the bed instead of going around. Mike was awake and I told him that I didn't feel so hot. He held my hand firmly and kissed my neck as I tried to hold my whimpers and go back to sleep. I tossed and turned and kicked violently through out the night.
On Sunday, I mostly lay around the trailer as things happened around me and tried to get some rest. Mike and I rode around the golf cart some more, and chased squirrels through the park.
On the way home, Mike and I sat in the back seat of the truck. I tried to sleep through it all and keep my head down in Mike's lap.

Monday, I went to school, and sat on the hill away from the rest of the pit as the band down below worked on charts. They only played a measure or two, then stopped to work on pictures. Sammy came up the hill. "I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but is there something you guys can do or practice."
"You guys are working on pictures. We can't play much." I pointed below. The band moved one move and stopped again. Noise and mumbling came from the band looking at charts.
"Well, can't you guys practice something?" she asked.
"Bartachek and Stegemann don't want us playing when you're working,"I said.
"I'm sorry, but that's fucked up. You're apart of the drum line too. In my freshmen year, we had to take it all the way from the school down here,"Sammy said and walked down the hill angrily. She stopped to talk to Laura Burns about her frustration as she angrily gestured about and then toward us. Laura looked angry too.
The pit wasn't too happy about it. "Sorry, but who's she to NOW decided that we're part of the drum line when we haven't been included this whole time?"

I survived English class, but towards the end of it, I wasn't feeling too good and went to the Nurses office. I took some Ibuprofen and lay in a dark room on a leather inclined cot with another fallen soldier who's pain was inflicted as well by cramps. I went to talk to the nurse and asked if I could go home.
I got dad on the phone, and took my things downstairs. I signed out in the attendance office, then went outside and sat in front of the school entrance. Dad took me home, and called Younkers and told them I wouldn't be coming in.

This morning, after taking my pill, my vitamin, ate some food and got dressed, I started feeling nauseaus and went back to bed. ERgharha..... Damn Period.

Bold Day

Today is "Bold" Day for spirit week Wear one color. I did blue. Not may people are participating. Some people just have a plain shirt and jeans. I have:
2 blue bows
blue dress
blue tights
blue shoes
blue makeup
blue nails
blue shirt
blue earrings
3 blue necklaces
and blue hair
and I put a blue bandanna on my goat. I hope my picture is in the yearbook. Oh. and my back pack is blue. but it always is.

Other people think "Bold" day is stupid, and are instead substituting "clash" or "mix- match" day.

In English we're watching the Scarlet Letter. I'm in the front row, right in front of the TV WITH THE REMOTE and still can't make sense of what's going on.

Tomorrow is -er day. I think I'll be a flapper.
I don't have late night band practice tomorrow- that's great because I don't work.
Tonight I work. I hope they don't mind the blue.

-- Mr. Zaugg is talking about how Newton was an asshole. "Thomas Edison wasn't so nice either"
The fat annoying kid behind me asks,"Thomas Edison, who's he?"
"You know, guy who invented the light bulb, photographs, records..."
"I thought that was Thomas Jefferson. Then who's he? Who's Thomas Jefferson?"
I cringe and shake my head. This kid volunteers to speak TOO MUCH. Brytaney Abrose times 1000.

Contention

This week has been awfully content. I worked 12 hours, I get my pay check today, Ignite went amazingly well.
Today, Danielle and I are going shopping. Younkers, J.C. Penny's. Shoe carnival, target, maybe goodwill! I'm excited that I get to hang out with her. She's stressed a lot, and often. I am hoping that today I will make her feel better.
Tomorrow, Mike, Ryan, Sam, Dustin, Hannah, Anthony (?) and I are going to Sam's Club. I love grocery shopping with mike. Anthony want to thrift shop so I guess we're doing that too. Hooray! I'm happy to have a Saturday off.
I got my schedule for next week. I work Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday. Not Bad!
Next week is homecoming week.
Monday - Solid color day
Tuesday- -er day
Wednesday- Spirit Day
Thursday - dress up day
Friday - no school. decorating for homecoming game.

Saturday is the dance but I'm going to Clear lake with Mike and his family. I'm excited that I get to sleep with him overnight again. It was really peaceful and relaxing last time. I'm looking forward to it.
Yesterday, It was said that several boys wearing plain blue t-shirts were went to the office for supposed gang affiliation. Monday is bold/solid day. The V-P's were said to have said that no solid blue, red or black is allowed. From what I understand, those three colors will be worn by many students in response to this silly rule. I'm interested in learning more. Brytaney told me that she saw (I think ) Hummell telling boys to change their shirts. Who has an extra t-shirt at school? It's not like you can turn it inside out either. But what if there is more gang activity here?
That makes me nervous.

Sandal's again

Martha, Lucy's mom, told me that Lucy's mental age is about 12 years old. When she ran away on Saturday, She walked barefoot to see me at the mall. I had already left work when she left home. Lucy has been talking to a 23 year old guy from Nebraska who she's never met. I had to watch Lucy and make sure she didn't call him. This guy, Paul, lives with his parents and is also not mentally stable.
I had no idea Lucy was like that.
Today, I go to "South" to mentor Freshmen. I kinda forget what we're doing today....
Mrs. Ligouri is wearing those Sandals again!!!
AAARRGHH!!!!!

light headed

"It infuriates me when people are dissing on immigrants."
It infuriates me when you wear black shoes with navy pants.
It's early out. I'm in English class. After school, I'm hanging out with Lucy today. My dad doesn't want me to go with her, but I probably will. I'll call her when school gets out.
I took a shower this morning and blew my nose. A black and bloody sick thing fell into my hand My nose was bleeding and when I spit, it was in my outh. I was light headed and fell to my knees in the shower. I turned off the water and tried to relax. Three more times I'd turn on and off the water but kept on feeling faint. I wanted to use my anti- bacterial fungus shampoo. I climbed out of the shower and lay on the bathroom rug for a a bit. I shakily stood, went into my room and lay in my bed a bit. I got dressed, took my vitamin, ate a ding-dong, and went to school.
I sit in front in my math class. All the better to see that everyday Mrs. Ligouri's heel sticks out over her brown strapped slip on sandels. Yesterday, she wore a closed heel and toe shoe. But today, she's at it again wearing those badly fitted shoes. I look at shoes a lot now.
Today I get my Ignite shirt. yay. Medium. Bright orange and blue font. Tie it around my neck like a cape. Kids laugh as I pass by.

Always Something

There's always something going on. Something always happening. It's always the same Over and Over... I'm finding it more difficult to pick out and choose what's really important. What is significant enough for me to write a couple sentences and bring back a single moment of life in question vividly in my mind?
Always something going on - Like Mrs. Ligouri reviewing our homework right now. She leaves the answers on the overhead for less than a minute that I can't even see if I got the right answer. I just assume I do. There's only 9 kids in this class and 2 of us have A's. I'm one of them. I'm a little surprised- but whatever. That's cool.
I've been sneezing a lot recently. It's sort of like allergies except there's not much pollen this time of year. Just super crazy really high humidity. RAWRG!!!!! sneezing...
Three freshmen showed up at Art Club last week. I don't think I'll go this week. I'd rather be at the Legion Hall then there. I hae band tonight. It was cold this morning, so I anticipate it being colder tonight. I might wear my winter jacket. I need a locker soon to put that in and mh other stuff. maybe I'll pimp it out. I haven't been to target in a while. Maybe I'll go with Lucy tomorrow.
Katie (and me I guess) are supposedly trying to hook up Chris and Danielle. Sure- They're both good looking, but I don't know if they're alike. A lot of times, Danielle doesn't really come off as "real". She has a lot of insecurities she needs to cope with.
On Thursday, I'm going to Lincoln SOuth for Ignite. I'm in a boy's advisory so I'm a little nervous that they'll be jackasses. I hope they listen and like me. Maybe I'll take them out to eat if I like them enough. I'll get my orange ignite t-shirt today- hopefully.
I don't think I'll do my math now. I have a quiz tomorrow and I can probably just do it tomorrow.... Meh.
It's Tuesday. I dont' have work on Saturday. I am elated. I'm going to Sam's club with Mike and Ryan. Sounds like fun. Next Tuesday I don't ahve late night band practice so I get to hang out with Mike.
I got my list of Mentees!!!!
THEY"RE GIRLS!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!

Stressing out all the time

I haven't time to do laundry.
I haven't had to to sleep.
I haven't had time to read, do homework, live, relax, paint, play piano, sew, chat, shop, go to shows, study for permit, bike ride, write, blog, exercise, laugh, think, love.

I haven't had the time to live.

Because I have to work. All the Time. And the days I don't work I have band.

I miss blogging about my day. I miss being able to have time to myself. I loved last school year so much because I got to blog three times a week, nap, hang out. I had all the time I needed to meditate, and reflect, and be by myself. I often came home to an empty house, and I loved it. I got to really define who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do.

I know that working every day of my life from the time I'm 16 - 60 isn't what I had in mind.

Tetris

I GOT 20570 on TETRIS TODAY! AHHH!!

Art Punk No More

So, since I haven't blogged in a while, I never got to tell you guys about what's going on with my art club.
Personally- I think the teacher's a bitch.
WORD.

She doesn't want anyone else but freshmen to hold office in the club. She wants to plan projects herself and not follow the one semester plan I had made involving the community, and local artists. I told her that we don't have a functioning art club at main. She said she doesn't mind if the upperclassmen come to south, they just can't be elected or lead.
Her reasoning is that "Freshmen don't get the chance at Lincoln Main to be the leaders in organizations."
I said she was right. Because if you stay in a group for three years, and are a senior, you have proven to be the best kind of loyal leader who isn't going to drop out after a week like the freshmen have.

Mike says if she won't listen, I should just let her go at it herself. "Didn't your relationships teacher say herself, there's some people who just don't listen no matter how much you try?"
Yeah. And I love that woman.
"If this teacher won't listen to you, you just need to let her do her own thing. Until then, start your club elsewhere for the rest of the people. Let the freshmen know,'Hey, I won't be here anymore, and will be starting an art club up at main. Any of you are willing to join'"

I guess that works. Man- this sucks.

Aging Well

I wouldn't mind someday being 71
or hell maybe a hundred and two
but as long as I can walk
and I keep my wits
and as long as I'm with you

I don't mind lengthening my years
because I have no fears about tomorrow
as long as I have a life with few tears
and there'll be no sorrow

and I'd be happy some day being weathered and gray
as long as I'm glad to be alive and not skipping to my grave

I wouldn't mind someday being 71
or hell maybe a hundred and two
but as long as I can walk
and I keep my wits
and as long as I'm with you

I'd like us to me old jewish type couple
the kind that always argues
and we'll gripe about the prices of inflation
and why we don't need to buy apple juice

and I like to think about, sing about, what'll come about
of us later in the future
a world that revolves about, can't live a day without
our robots, flying cars, and computers

I wouldn't mind someday being 71
or hell maybe a hundred and two
but as long as I can walk
and I keep my wits
and as long as I'm with you

and I'd be happy some day being weathered and gray
as long as I'm glad to be alive and not skipping to my grave

but what's so fun?
about dying young?
when we can live forever?

but til then I'll live today
and later I will say
that I lived life to the full
and I'm not feeding you bull
shit
and I've lived life to the full
and maybe someday we will know!
and maybe someday we'll know