Jeanette Kay

Today, 46 years ago, my mother was born at St. Joseph's hospital in Mason City. Seven pounds and Four oz. Jeanette Kay.
My mom was 30 years when I was born. Well, 29, but see, when I was one, she was 31. It was always easy to know how old my mom was. My dad- I have no idea how old he is. It's harder to tell. I think I was 8 when he turned fourty. I can't do math very well, so I'm not going to attempt to at the moment.
My mom was 42 when she died in 2005 of Thymomma Cancer. I would have been 12.
I miss her dearly, and even now, she is very close to me, I think- more than anyone else. I still frequently learn something new about her everyday, or hear a new song I think she'd like. Or I'll hear a song from one of my Oingo Boingo cds, and somewhere in the back of mind, I remember these lyrics. It's like she listened to them at one time.

She liked the City of Angel's soundtrack, and the Batman Forever soundtrack too. She loved musicals. In the basement I found a record of "The Wiz". She used to tell me about the Phantom of the Opera and how beautiful it was.
She liked lilacs, lillies, and irises. In our backyard she'd garden all the time.
Other times I remember her watching VH1 while vacuuming and cleaning. I was sitting on the couch once and watched a documentary about Meatloaf.
My mom didn't like me watching the movie "Alice in Wonderland" because Lewis Carrol "liked little children too much".
My mom loved art. She wanted to be an artist. One time she was looking through a box of her college stuff and came across her sketchbook she had at the time. There was a picture in there that was her favorite. It was of a foot. "Go on! Guess who's foot that is! Don't you know?"she asked excitedly. I didn't know. I shrugged. "It's MINE!"she said and hopped up on on foot and held her foot next to the sketch. "Mine!!" she said again.
We had gone to the Chicago Museum of Art when I was 6- our only family vacation. My mom was missing a week of jury duty. She had been searching through tons and tons of prints in the gift shop. I remember her looking through every one. She had bought a copy of a Monet painting with a bunch of people sitting beside a lake under the shade of trees. It currently hangs above my bed. I also remember her saying how much her favorite painting was Dali's "Persistence of Memory".
My mom liked quiz and game shows. While doing chores she's watch this music game show on VH1. She was awful at it from what I saw, but whenever she got something right, she was so happy. We had a computer came called,"You don't know Jack". At night we'd sit together and watch Wheel of Fortune while eating frozen pizza. I'd say about three times a week we'd have frozen pizza. The three of us couldn't get enough of it.
My mom, my brother, and I. The three of us. They were my family for the longest time.

I used to not want to be a mother. Giving birth had always scared the bejesus out of me. I have never been around a baby for more than five minutes. I've never baby sat. I have no clue about kids. Recently though, I think about my mom and how much she meant to me. Now, I'm very certain that some day, I want to be a mother. Some day.
I miss my mother very much.